The Manicou Report

Your name is Kamla Persad-Bissessar. You want to have your party, the UNC form the next Government. You are Opposition Leader though by dubious means. However there’s one little problem.

Persad Bissessar

To become the Prime Minister in 2007, you must become the Political Leader now. However, the position isn’t vacant and not only that, but it’s newly filled. You want to remove Winston Dookeran. However there is no plausible reason. None of the tried and true reasons for removing a person from the UNC such as betraying your party so that it’s removed from Government, lying about a London bank account, cooking and eating little children, apply. You are stumped.

Winston Dookeran

Your new campaign against the ruling PNM has been that their own leader, Mr. Patrick Manning, is becoming a dictator. To illustrate this you have mentioned “Forbes Burnham” and “Patrick Manning” in the same sentence the way most people mention “John O’Halloran” and “crooked bastard”. However you don’t want people to know that you are a hypocrite - at least not just yet.

Then how the hell do you remove Winston Dookeran from the position of the political leader of the UNC without a valid reason?

You know Dooks is a good guy although he does seem a little soft sometimes.

Hmmm…..remove Dookeran……..remove Dookeran.

Suddenly it dawns on you. You do not need a valid reason! It’s the United National Congress! In the UNC there’s a strong tradition of retarded reasons - a celebration even. You think back to the election result overturn involving Gerald Yetming and you get excited. You salivate. You think back to Stephen Montano’s firing and you get a warm and fuzzy feeling that shocks you (being cold-blooded and all). The gods are with you.

“I know! I’ll get all my like-minded pond scum buddies to agree with me! The people will accept whatever I tell them. They are all sheep anyway. They are stupid and have that that 7-day memory we all talk about. And who cares what they have to say anyway I am Opposition Leader and my decisions stands. I don’t care what any Tom, Dick or Harrilal has to say about it…..”

(wait for it)

(wait for it)

Damn! It’s that damn dictator trap all over again. You walk right into it. It feels strangely familiar to you and you’re not sure why, but you get the warm fuzzies again and it shocks you yet again.

My problem with the UNC fiasco is this:

1. Winston Dookeran is the elected political leader of the party fair and square. Even more so considering the caliber of the clowns they had running the election over there.
2. Trinidad & Tobago is a completely democratic country.
   
3. However when Mr. Dookeran was supposed to assume the post of Opposition Leader, Kamla & Co. stole it away from him, citing the stupidest reasons I have ever heard coming from any mature, intelligent, educated adult. What grave sin did Mr. Dookeran commit? Well, (and this is a classic) “he didn’t support Basdeo Panday in his recent trial”. (Honestly, what does that have to do with anything? Especially since Panday was found guilty as sin. So let me help you keep score here. He’s not the Political Leader because “he didn’t support his political leader in his trial” - who was eventually found guilty anyway. Hmm.) Of course that’s the exact same reason why Mr. Panday didn’t hand the post over to him when he won the election. Mr. Panday, you see, is psychic. However, not so psychic as to not sign Mr. Dookeran’s nomination papers.
4. How then does Kamla & Company reconcile the undemocratic measures taken by the party executive with the fact that her party wants to form the next Government of the democratic state of T&T? How can she and her group want to uphold the rule of law and the constitution of Trinidad & Tobago, when it’s not even observed in the U.N.C.?
5. And lastly, H.T.F is she not a dictator herself?

We have a weak Government and an even weaker Opposition. All I want is a party to vote for to remove the jokers now in office. “Get in line,” I’m told, “get in line”.